When we lose someone close, it hurts like hell. Watching them deteriorate and suffer is even worse. In recent weeks my heart has gone out to my extended family as my lovely father-in-law Davy passed away. He was 87, and it still felt too soon.
Something has stayed with me that I've never experienced quite in this way before: feeling such a strong connection with others, and with myself. Love and compassion has been shared in abundance and I'm so grateful for it. It's true what they say, we are all connected in grief.
In times when we're trying to be strong it can be like sailing on rough, stormy seas, fighting against the tide. Yet during this time I have let go of the 'trying', acknowledging the thoughts, emotions and feelings of grief (which are still coming regularly). And in fact it's been more like bobbing on gentle waves, knowing that I'll stay afloat, supported by the amazing people in my life, with whom I share that deeply connected support and compassion when they need it. And I know that I have inner resources that help me to be resilient too.
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship."
Louisa May Alcott
I've had unique experiences and special moments with family and friends that will stay with me forever, despite the raw pain and sadness. Heartfelt kindness offered unconditionally, often with few words, yet knowing and feeling deeply what their intent was, through something much bigger than ourselves.